Last Sunday saw me back in the saddle for the first DI competition in five years and it was terrifying. Firstly if you are a woman of a certain age – i.e anything over 21 – things are always shrinking, in the wash, while hung in the press, and after being ironed. This meant a new wardrobe and while my horse has a designer, I live in Primark. I am vertically challenged at a massive 4ft 6” in my Ariat’s so life can be a bit of a hit or miss on the clothing front, this is why I much rather rug shopping. Got the stretchy jacket and had it let out and taken up – and when did they decide that see-through breeches are a thing? I need to wear teenage sizes and yeah, they have crystals, but no teenager I know has cellulite and varicose veins, and let me tell you even the posh brands proudly show both. I got around this by wearing ladies nude tights under them, and while hot, were effective. The point of all of this is the need for diversity in sizing for normal riders. While in our heads we all look like Charlotte and our mounts would put Valegro to shame, in reality, I am short, fattish and ride a coloured cob. If you look at the clientele of most livery yards, you will find women like me which I like to call “aould wans on cobs”. We are the backbone of the AIRC and the preliminary and novice classes in DI, EI and SI along with Trec and endurance and the hunting scene. Yet all of the horsey clothing is based on svelte 6 ft models and while it’s advisable not to have loose clothing, do they really need to make us all look like we are wearing badly fitting spanx, or dare I say it SKIMS ….. I would pay extra for my gut to be skimmed and not shamed.