Find Your Tribe

I make no bones about being an amateur rider who has a horse for pleasure and company. I don’t compete, and to fulfill his side of the bargain, Porter merely has to let me ride him and love him and whicker at me when I come in the yard.

When I first got Porter it was after not riding for over 20 years, and never owning a horse. I had this dream of him and me galloping off into the sunset, a team of two, forever after. Of course, it wasn’t a bit like that. I had absolutely no idea what to do, and, more importantly, no one I could ask for advice. It really was just me and him, but as for tripping lightly into the future, not a notion!

Initially, I kept Porter at my house on our farm. I had about an acre or so fenced off with an electric fence, and alternated with keeping him here, and over at my father-in-law’s, a mile down the road, who had about three acres.  

I worried. All the time. I worried about him being on his own, I worried about him not having a stable. If the weather was bad at night I worried about him not having enough shelter, I worried about rugs, especially in the Spring. To rug, not to rug… if I take it off what if I can’t get it back on, what if he gets wet without his rug. I worried about what to feed him, how much to give him, was the grass enough? Where could I get hold of some hay? Where would I store it? I worried about his feet, I worried about his teeth, I worried about him eating my father-in-law’s newly planted trees, which also meant I spent hours putting up electric fence, and then worried whether it was working properly or not. The list goes on, and that is before I added in the worry of riding him.

As an Off the Track Thoroughbred it is probably kindest to say that he really wasn’t an easy horse to ride. He was hot, flaring up from 0 – 100 with no warning and nothing in between. We struggled around my makeshift arena in my field with his head stuck up like a giraffe, and me with absolutely no control or means of communication with him. 

Eventually, the pain of not knowing what I was doing, and worse, the thought that I wasn’t doing the best I could for my horse, combined with my youngest child starting pre-school led me to make some changes that revolutionised mine and Porter’s life. I realised that owning a horse is not a solitary business, and that you need a whole network of people around you to support you, give advice and guidance, and help you look after your horse.

Three and a half years ago I moved to a local livery and competition yard just 15 minutes down the road. I wanted to do all the livery myself, so it was important to me that I wouldn’t be too far away. I was even able to work for part of his livery which made it affordable. Once there, at Chestnut Hill Stables, the owner, Nessa Toher Shannon, started to put some shape on us. She was able to tell me all about feeds, rugs, what he needed, how much he needed. She put me in touch with her farrier, her dentist, and her chiropractor. Goodness knows what she thought of us in our first lesson, or our first hack – a 5km walk (mainly sideways jog with a few spooks thrown in) around the local roads (where we came back looking like we had been hunting for the day, lathered in foamy sweat), but she has spent the years since then helping us to become the little partnership we are today. 

I needed help, and expert advice. I couldn’t manage on my own, And over the years I have come to realise the importance of having a tribe of people who can help. My livery yard is like a five star hotel for Porter, and it is a place of wonderful community for me. Not only does Nessa have experts in place to call on in times of need, but she herself is incredibly knowledgeable and caring towards the horses. The other owners and riders are as warm and friendly, and as mad about their horses, as I am about mine.  I no longer feel that I am alone in my ups and downs with Porter. A cut leg, twisted shoe, random lameness… these are no longer the enormous fear filled disasters they used to be. We all need a bit of help with our horses from time to time, and knowing you are not alone and have a whole tribe of likeminded people around you makes a world of difference. Porter and I are now cantering calmly, and in balance, into the sunset and our future. 

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Find Your Tribe

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