This week was supposed to be the Equestrian Mental Health Summit that we were supporting Equitas on. One of the things I was most looking forward to was the keynote session on both days on Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviours.

I am not a specialist; I am not an expert… it’s just something I am very curious about. I work a lot on understanding my mind as I think most founders and leaders should to be the best version of themselves. But, to be fair… I think all people and all equestrians should be trying to understand their mind a whole lot better.

And today with all that in mind I wanted to write about Mental Strength. I’ve had “an interesting few weeks”. But I’ve enjoyed them for what they were, for what they needed to be and it really has been nice to see the work I do on my thoughts, feelings and behaviours hold true throughout this time.

So lets kick this off, also before I start… it is nice to be back writing like this for Grassroots. This is where it all started… writing about what matters most to you… and today for me, that is mental strength.

Challenge Your Mind: How Thoughts, Actions, and Emotions Shape Mental Strength

Mental strength… we all talk about it, but what does it really mean? It’s not about having everything together or pretending life’s easy when it’s clearly not. It’s about navigating the absolute chaos, stumbling through the dark… but still moving forward.

At the core of it all – your thoughts, your behaviours, your feelings – they run the show, they run you… if you let them. You start understanding them, you start understanding yourself… and that’s where I think the real change happens.

What Mental Strength Really Is

“Just be strong.” Easy words… harder in practice. True mental strength isn’t about always being okay. It’s about falling apart sometimes, letting yourself feel it all, and then finding a way to keep going anyway.

It’s not about erasing the struggle… it’s about learning to live with it. To see the fear, the doubt, the chaos… and keep going. As a founder it is daily challenges… kind of like an Equestrian right? Anything is possible on any day… you have all thought me that, as have your horses!!!!

Thoughts: Where It All Begins.

Thoughts are powerful… they build your world. What you tell yourself… the words you use, the consistency of those words and how you say them… that really shapes everything around you. Think you’re not enough? You’ll see proof of that everywhere. Start shifting those thoughts… and you’ll start shifting your reality.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you‘re right“

Challenge the Stories You Tell Yourself

“I’m not good enough… I’ll never make it… This is too much.” We’ve all got these stories playing on repeat. But here’s the thing: a shit ton of it is simply not true. You’ve really got to start questioning these thoughts… challenge them.

Ask yourself, “Is this real, or am I just scared?” Most times, it’s fear talking. Don’t let it control you.

It’s Not About Forced Positivity

Let’s be real… life’s messy and as an equetrian it can be pretty tough sometimes or even as some of you tell me, most of the time it is hard. The Highs are high but the lows are so low… Positive thinking doesn’t mean pretending life’s not messy or hard. It’s about choosing to see beyond the mess, to ask, “What can I take from this?” What have a learned? It’s not easy… but it is worth it.

Self-Awareness Is Key

You can’t change what you don’t notice. Start paying attention to your thoughts… track them and be conscious of your triggers. Writing things down, sitting with your thoughts for a while… it gives you a clearer picture of what’s running in the background. And once you see it… you can start changing it.

I am big into sitting my thoughts and feelings. John Fitzgerald talked before in an article about “How everyone needs a chair”. I have my chair now and good or bad, I like to sit there with my thoughts and even if I don’t want to, with my feelings. Think I may have broken that chair across the last 6 weeks sitting on it too much 😉. BUT there is always actions afterwards, always behaviours.

Behaviours: What You Do Shapes Who You Are

What you do… that’s where your thoughts come to life. Your actions are the reflection of your mind. Every day, you’re building something… either strength or weakness, depending on what you do.

You can’t control your Feelings but you can control your Thoughts and Behaviours. And yes, I am aware of emotional self regulation or practicing mindfulness etc… the fact is your control your thoughts and behaviours… they are the catalyst… good or bad.

“Staying positive does not mean that things will turn out okay. Rather it is knowing that you will be okay no matter how things turn out.” — Garth Ennis

Act in Spite of Fear

Everyone feels fear… that’s not the problem. The problem is letting it stop you. Mental strength is built by acting despite the fear. Take the risk, make the call, do the thing… whatever it is you’ve been avoiding. Every step you take in fear is a step towards strength but you know that…

Learn to Say No

Boundaries. If you’re saying yes to everyone else, you’re saying no to yourself. Stop giving away your energy to people and things that drain you. Saying no is a form of strength… it’s protecting what matters – your peace of mind. My sister calls the people who drain you Energy Vampires and I like that wording.

Small Habits, Big Impact

Exercise, eat well, sleep… you’ve heard it all before, but it matters. You can’t build mental strength on a body that’s falling apart. Start with one small change… then build on it. After I write this, I am heading to the steam-room and sauna. I need to practice my words here. It is a commitment I have made to myself. Need to be more conscious of my body and not just my mind.

Feelings: Let Them Be… Don’t Let Them Take Over

Feelings… they’ll come whether you like it or not. The trick isn’t to suppress them… it’s to feel them without being consumed by them.

Feel It… Then Let It Go

Being mentally strong doesn’t mean ignoring emotions. It means letting yourself feel them, fully… and then letting them pass. Don’t let them sit inside you, festering with the negative spiral starting. Feel the sadness, the anger, the frustration… then release it. It’s the only way.

Regulation, Not Suppression

It’s not about pretending you’re okay when you’re not. It’s about finding ways to process what you’re feeling in a healthy way. Talk to someone, write it down, breathe… do whatever helps. But don’t bottle it up. You gotta figure out what works for you here!! This is important.

Thoughts and Feelings… They’re Tied Together

Ever notice how one bad thought can ruin your whole day? That’s because thoughts and feelings are connected. You can’t leave that happen. Wellll you shouldn’t… you are in control. A negative thought can spiral into negative emotions… and the cycle keeps going. Break the cycle at the thought. Once you do that, the feelings follow. YOU ARE IN CONTROL!!! WE ALL ARE!

Gratitude… Compassion… Game Changers

You’ve heard it before, but gratitude shifts everything. It’s not about pretending life’s perfect – it’s about focusing on what’s still good, even when things are falling apart. Compassion? Start with yourself… give yourself a break when things don’t go to plan. It makes the tough moments easier to carry.

Building Resilience… It’s a Process

Let’s be clear… mental strength isn’t something you build in a day. It takes time, patience… and a shit ton of failures. You’ll mess up. You’ll fall down. You’ll question yourself. Sometimes daily… But that’s the point… it’s about how you rise after each fall. Progression… not perfection. Life is a never ending improvement and as a founder, we are always chasing the relentless pursuit of excellence. But as I get older, it is the journey I love… patience and perseverance.

Never Forget... strength comes from the climb, not the summit.

Until Next Time,

Shane