Mental health and discussions around it have recently become all the rage. But are we just talking and not really understanding the real struggle, particularly with men? The silent killer—depression and anxiety—lurks behind the masks men wear, and we often have no idea of the scale of the issue. Someone close to you might be suffering terribly but has no skills or comfort in sharing. John Fitzgerald, Head of the Restricted Trainers Association, articulates the crux of the matter: “The real question is how do we get to a mental health ‘sharing’ attitude without judgment or fear? That’s the real challenge…it’s the horror of our society right now.”

The Alarming Statistics

The statistics are indeed alarming. In Ireland, 18% of men report having been diagnosed with depression, and 67% experience anxiety​ (Aware)​. 39% of those who delayed seeking mental health support cited shame, embarrassment, or fear of judgment as the main barriers​ (Aware)​. 31% of men with mental health issues reported not taking any action to address their mental health​ (Aware)​.

These figures underline the urgent need for targeted mental health interventions and support systems.

Societal Pressures and Mental Health

Tom Stapleton, Managing Director of Soil.ie, highlights the external pressures that exacerbate mental health issues: “External impact factors and pressures add extra pressure to people to appear like everything is okay with them. If you give someone your time, they eventually open up, and you realize that they are under pressure either financially, emotionally, or some factor contributing to their mental health.”

Stapleton further elaborates on the societal challenges men face: the need to always have something new—new runners, new haircuts—and the pressure to keep up with everyone else. “Just be yourself,” he advises. However, this is easier said than done in a society where men are often isolated, lacking meaningful conversations, and struggling with work-life balance. The pervasive use of social media compounds these issues. Stapleton recounts, “The other day I was in the sauna in the gym, and a young male had his phone with him in the sauna. Fear of missing out, I don’t know, but when can the mind switch off?”

The Masks Men Wear

Thomas Conlon, Co-Founder of Recovery and Secretary of the Irish Pony Society North Western Area, has worked with men in mental health for over 20 years. He observes, “Men wear masks—we all wear masks, that’s just life. But we need to learn when it’s not about the mask, it’s something deeper.”

Conlon emphasizes the importance of reaching out: “It’s all about reaching out, and that reach is twofold: people need to learn to ask for help, and we also need to learn to reach out to our mates. A simple message can be life-changing. Just asking someone how they are can prompt them to express their emotions. Once any emotion is shared, especially if it’s related to risk, it can be life-saving.”

The Need for Better Understanding and Support

Shane McCarthy, CEO of the Grassroots Gazette and Co-Founder of the HAY Campaign, underscores the need for a deeper understanding of mental health: “Mental health is something that touches all of us at some time or another. I think for the better part, people can’t comprehend it unless they have gone through it in some way, be it anxiety or depression. We are not given the tools, training, or education to understand how our mind works.”

McCarthy continues, “Do we really know how our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are interlinked? How they trigger and feed each other and what the net effect is? I wish more men felt secure and safe in opening up and being honest about what they are going through.”

He points out a critical issue: “We talk a lot about mental health in society, but are we talking about and discussing the right things? The things that can have an impact and give real tangible support or guidance?”

The Equine Industry: A Sector at Risk

The equine industry, in particular, faces significant mental health challenges. McCarthy notes, “We have a huge suicide issue in the equine industry. We are losing too many people we care about. We have to do more, we have to be better, we have to deliver better support for those that need it.”

The upcoming Equestrian Mental Health Summit aims to be a catalyst for change, seeking support from the wider community to assist men and all equestrians on their mental health journey.

Conclusion: Moving Towards a Solution

The silent struggle of men’s mental health in Ireland is a complex issue that requires a comprehensive and compassionate approach.

Addressing this issue involves reducing stigma, improving access to mental health services, and fostering an environment where men feel comfortable sharing their struggles.

As John Fitzgerald aptly puts it, the challenge lies in achieving a “mental health ‘sharing’ attitude without judgment or fear.”

For those in the equine industry and beyond, it is essential to recognize the pressures and isolation men face and to provide the necessary support and understanding. By doing so, we can hope to reduce the silent suffering and prevent the tragic outcomes associated with mental health issues in men.

In the words of Thomas Conlon, “Just asking someone how they are can prompt them to express their emotions. Once any emotion is shared, especially if it’s related to risk, it can be life-saving.” This Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, let’s make a concerted effort to reach out, support, and understand the men around us.

Ask your friends this month, HAY How Are Ya? and take the time to listen. Be part of the change that is needed. Don’t just read this and say that makes sense, pick up the phone now and ring someone you think might need it. Just be there for them. Be present.

This is part 1 of a 3 part article series as we chat with men from across the industry about Men’s Mental Health Month. Part 2 has a surreal video sent to us by Shane Duffy to explain Depression and it is a real eye opener. That will be published Saturday with part 3 coming out on Monday.