So here we are, rocking and rolling towards 25 and it only feels like yesterday I was sitting my leaving cert mocks around this time of year praying that it would all be over. If only I knew then what I know now I would have done things a lot differently.

As I sit here, back in my first year of college again and looking at some of my friends who are happily in relationships, engaged or having kids, I sometimes think I have royally messed up the vital years of life. In other ways though, I feel like I am finally getting the chance to live the life I want to live, as opposed to getting on with it and preparing for the hard slog of a miserable life.

Truth is, there is massive pressure on the younger generation of today’s society. Truth is, I thought by now I would have been thinking of settling down like 99.99% of my friends have done by now, instead of starting from the bottom because I want to live out this dream of mine. And the truth is, I have absolutely no idea where I am going, but it is time I really get my act together and start moving up the gears. Because it is scary how fast time is moving now and I am not going to waste a second.

I don’t want this to be a case of “poor me”. No, that is no good for anyone. I know for a fact that most people reading The Grassroots Gazette are of the younger generation. I know most of the best writers in the magazine are of the younger generation. And the people that are going to change society are those of the younger generation. So it is time I do my bit for the younger generation to help them live out their best life while they still can.

Self-worth is the single most important tool to live out a happy life.

I really cannot stress this enough. I for one am only getting used to this trait now. I am the most unconfident person you could ever meet. I struggle on a daily basis with anxiety and a lack of self-confidence, all falling back on a lack of self-worth. People may be reading this from college that think I am talking through my rear end, but as a matter of fact, I only really got a sense of self-worth a few weeks before starting college. 

Self-worth and confidence come hand in hand. If you do not have confidence, your self-worth is going to be at ground level. You will never achieve full potential in whatever you do in life and the reason for it is you do not believe you are good enough to do it. No job is ever impossible, it may just need more attempts than others. I cannot stress this next point enough. 

The only person who can ever tell you that you can or can’t do something is yourself! I was in a bad place mentally when I got the call to say I was accepted into college five or six months ago. It brought me from rock bottom to cloud nine. But I was told by a select few close friends that I would fail at this because I failed at cheffing. A career I had to give up because I was unstable mentally and needed to get out of the kitchen environment for my own good. These are the people I class as toxic. 

It is important that you get these people out of your personal life, but keep them in full sight of your professional life when YOU are in full flight at the top of your career. These people just see you as a fantastic individual with massive potential and are afraid that you will get to places these people can only dream of.

Enjoy the simple things of life, embrace happiness and surround yourself with great people.

It is easier said than done. I know 12, 14, 16, 18 and even 20 year old me would class this as complete and utter s-h-one-t. The fact is that you will face some sort of serious grief between the ages of 16 and 21 that is going to knock you for six. It will kick you to the ground and make you question so much about life itself. 

I have lost three fantastic friends that have knocked me for six in the past eight years. They range from suicide to road accidents. That is a scary fact, the fact I am not in my 70s and I have lost a friend almost every two years, I’m only turning 25 this year. These things shouldn’t be happening this soon in my life but they are. I can’t describe the grief and pain I went through, nobody really can. I know I can remember each day extremely well yet I can’t tell you a single thing that happened that day. I know that the pain is torturous yet, I felt completely numb in myself. 

It doesn’t get easier or the pain doesn’t go away. You live to learn to accept what happened and you actually learn to talk about it, as opposed to being completely overwhelmed with grief. The key is not to be afraid to talk when these life situations come about. The sad reality of it is we have all either lost or knew someone who has lost their life because of suicide.

People look at me an awful lot differently now. I would class it as a sort of bewilderment with “How are you so jolly” or “How are you always in a good mood?” to follow. The truth is, I spent a solid 12-14 years being absolutely miserable. It is about time that I start enjoying life now while I still can.

There is enough misery going on in the world without being miserable yourself. Take it on yourself to try and focus on all things positive and feed off that mindset. And love the people that love you. You have no idea what is going on in the mind of someone else.

Nobody on this planet is perfect!

There are very few things I hate in life, but I really, really hate the “perfect” people in today’s society. Not that there’s anything wrong with being perfect, but these people are as far away from perfection as I am!

Everywhere you look on social media these days, it is full of these “perfect” people. Filled lips, uncomfortably white smile, fake tan, fake hair and a fake personality plastered all over social media. What annoys me most is that these people are filling young people’s heads with crap that you need all of these things to be beautiful in today’s society. 

Young men and women reading this, take note of what I am about to say. You will never be perfect until you can embrace your imperfections. Because if these perfect Peters and perfect Pollys think cosmetics make them perfect, they are filled with one thing, apart from the silicone or whatever the stuff is being injected nowadays. They are all full of the same thing we will fork out of our horses stable this morning. 

In my opinion, having a perfect life is finding someone that loves YOU for who YOU are as a person. 

Make yourself a mad bucket list.

One of the biggest regrets of my life was not setting myself a bucket list at 18, with loads of mad ideas and things to do before I was 21. That is the very narrow window of opportunity you have to really go mad for a few years. I feel if I had done something like this back then, I wouldn’t have suffered so much with my self confidence.

Here is what I want people to do. Take every single fear you have and pair it with some sort of activity that surrounds the fear. For instance, I am petrified of heights,  or especially falling from a height. So I’d put down skydiving or bungee jumping. Concur the fears and confidence will follow.

The most frequent factor of not achieving success is fear of failure. To get success, one must be fearless of failure. And to concur fear, you must meet fear head on.

Fake it till you make it!

Not every person is going to be able to live out the top four steps. That could be down to a lot of different things, and the fact is there seems to be a million different types of mental illness now compared to just simply “depression” way back when. Which, might I add is not too long ago!

Look it, there are days I can’t do anything about how I am feeling. That is the strange and cruel way mental illness can work. So if you are reading this and still in a situation where you think you are helpless, do as I do and fake it till you make it.

When I say this, I don’t mean to hold everything in and bottle up your emotions. That is what started this mess in the first place. No, what I mean is try and be positive. I know myself I would almost pick a fight with myself to try and stay positive as opposed to settling for being miserable. I know people have their reasons for being miserable, but the moment you settle for being miserable the majority of the time is when it is the most dangerous.

I find myself, from taking up the mindset of being as positive as I possibly can, positivity tends to follow me around. I come in contact with more positive people than miserable people. So now, if I decide I want to talk about my problems, positive people are there ready to listen as opposed to having driven them away by being miserable. 

It will not work for everyone. But it does for me. As Mike and Shane said previously in their articles, it is all about why. Why do I feel like this? Why am I being held back by the people around me? Why am I not perfect like x, y or z? Or Why am I not confident in myself? It all falls down to the four steps above.

There are a million different ways to trick your mind into seeing the best side of life. It is very easy to fall into the trap of depression, I say it should be equally as easy to surround yourself with positivity.

To the young people reading this, don’t wish your life away. Live life, love life and respect life as best you can. You do not know the day or the hour it all gets taken away. Do not be afraid to ask for help if it’s needed. The most important thing is when the time comes that there are no regrets. 

To the older people reading this, be there for the younger generation if they come to you looking for help in these situations. It’s a sign that they are seeking advice on what could be something they have never experienced and may not know the best way of dealing with it themselves.

To everyone combined, check in with your family, your friends, your colleagues and whoever is important to you. The human mind works in mysterious ways. It is only us, ourselves that know what is going on with our own and most importantly know when we need help. Do not be afraid to ask for help when positivity just simply isn’t enough.