Trigger Warning: This piece discusses themes of mental health struggles, and thoughts of suicide. Please take care while reading. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or need support, please reach out to someone you trust or a mental health professional.

Sitting on a train in Italy, I decided to take some time to reflect on the year that had gone by. I suppose the word whirlwind sums it up best. At that exact time, one year earlier, I was curled up on my couch in intense pain, alternating between crying and zoning out.

On paper, 2023 should have been an amazing year for me. But as the year rolled on, a voice kept popping up in my head. More and more frequently, I kept hearing it. It was happening so often that I started to believe it. It was telling me to end it all. Repeating. Over and over. Until eventually, I started to think, maybe I should.

I truly believe it was because of this narrative in my head that I self-sabotaged so much of my life at that point. If I destroyed everything, no one would miss me when I was gone. And my God, did I do a good job of that.

The worst part? I had no reason to feel like this. I had everything: a loving family, a fiancé, a job in an area I loved, and massive potential to take it to the next level. So why did I feel this way? What was wrong with me?

And I think this is the most dangerous thing when it comes to mental health. You lock your feelings away because you feel silly. You know something’s wrong, but you don’t feel like you’ve the right to feel the way you do. Other people have it so much worse, you tell yourself. Who am I to feel like this? And so, you shame yourself more and feel even worse. It becomes a vicious cycle.

Thankfully, I was able to break that cycle.

That’s why I’m here today—to write this, and to try to reach anyone out there who feels like I did. Mental health issues are not a competition. You don’t need to reach a certain level of hardship before it’s deemed okay to feel the way you do.

Talk to someone you trust. Or, if you feel like it’s too much for anyone in your circle, talk to a therapist. For a long time, I was one of those people who said, “I don’t need therapy; I’m fine.” (Spoiler alert: I was not fine.) Starting therapy last year completely turned my life around. It gave me both the awareness and tools to deal with all of my feelings—both good and bad—instead of just pushing them down and hoping they’d go away.

For anyone feeling like I did, I want you to know this:

People care about you. 

Your feelings are valid.

You are worthy.

Life is tough, but you are tougher.

For me, things have drastically changed since this time last year, in ways I would say are for the better. And that would not have been possible if I had listened to that voice.

This is why campaigns like the HAY campaign are so important. They’re a beacon of hope—shining light and getting conversations about mental health going. They remind us to check in not only with ourselves but also with those close to us.

If you’ve been struggling at all, this is your sign. This is your time to take action. Reach out and seek the help that you deserve. There will be good days and bad days—that’s one thing that doesn’t change. But when you learn how to deal with the bad days, the good days get even better.

I promise.